Scene: the other night, Dayton and I are on the couch watching our favorite show "Las Vegas"
Danny McCoy, one of the main characters has just found out that he's being summoned by the Marines to go back to active duty for a special mission.
Danny: "I'm being recalled"
Elizabeth: "Like a toy out of China"
Dayton: "ha! ha! good one"
:)
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Friday, May 29, 2009
Got Racism?
Ever wonder about things as you're watching it rain or falling asleep, or watching NASCAR highlights on ESPN?
If you do and one of those things is why exactly they drink milk after winning the Indy 500 then I've got your answer right here.
Stick around for the final paragraph because that's where the funny's at.
"Milk became the drink of champions after Louis Meyer, the winner of the 1936 Indianapolis 500, was photographed gulping down a bottle of buttermilk, his favorite drink. Apparently, his mom had recommended the drink, claiming it would refresh him.
The photo found its way to the desk of an executive at the Milk Foundation who, seeing a rare promo opportunity, "made sure that from that year on the winner of the race received a bottle of milk to drink." A tradition was born. Not surprisingly, the National Dairy Council supports this ritual, calling the celebratory chugging of the milk, "a winning example for people everywhere who are looking to maintain a healthy, active lifestyle."
The victory milk is just one of may long standing traditions associated with the Indy 500, but if PETA has its way, it will soon come to an end. The organization is looking to end the drinking of the milk, claiming it to be a "beverage born out of cruelty to baby calves" and a "racist drink."
If you do and one of those things is why exactly they drink milk after winning the Indy 500 then I've got your answer right here.
Stick around for the final paragraph because that's where the funny's at.
"Milk became the drink of champions after Louis Meyer, the winner of the 1936 Indianapolis 500, was photographed gulping down a bottle of buttermilk, his favorite drink. Apparently, his mom had recommended the drink, claiming it would refresh him.
The photo found its way to the desk of an executive at the Milk Foundation who, seeing a rare promo opportunity, "made sure that from that year on the winner of the race received a bottle of milk to drink." A tradition was born. Not surprisingly, the National Dairy Council supports this ritual, calling the celebratory chugging of the milk, "a winning example for people everywhere who are looking to maintain a healthy, active lifestyle."
The victory milk is just one of may long standing traditions associated with the Indy 500, but if PETA has its way, it will soon come to an end. The organization is looking to end the drinking of the milk, claiming it to be a "beverage born out of cruelty to baby calves" and a "racist drink."
Sunday, May 24, 2009
In a debat against an Atheist, my money's on the Marsh-Wiggle
Play the desert island game with me for a second:
If you were going to be stranded on an island and could take only one book, which would it be? (don't be all Suzzy Spiritual and say the Bible either)
Mine...The Chronicles of Narnia (I have a version where all the books are combined into one so I'm not cheating when I say that).
Why? Aside from the brilliant writing and plot lines of Mr. Lewis, the spiritual truths laced throughout the book would have both my mind and my spirit fed for years.
One such example is found in the second to the last book of the chronicles, "The Silver Chair" and while it isn't my favorite (no children's book can hold even the smallest of candles to "The Voyage of the Dawn Treader") it's not without Lewis' brilliant wit.
This book is all about two children and a Marsh-Wiggle (the defining of which would generate a ramble so I'll spare you, just picture a scare-crow) and their journey to restore the rightful king to the Narnian throne.
There is one particular scene when they have broken a horrid spell and are addressing the witch who is attempting to cast another spell over them by convincing them that all they know to be true was in fact a dream.
What breaks them out of this spell is a clever speech from the Marsh-Wiggle, that as I've already hinted at, would squelch even the most boisterous of atheists....
Oh and the Aslan they speak of is the figure that represents God-just keep that in mind...
"Suppose we have only dreamed, or made up, all those things-trees and grass and sun and moon and stars and Aslan himself. Suppose we have. Then all I can say is that, in that case, the made-up things seem a good deal more important than the real ones. Suppose this black pit of a kingdom of yours is the only world. Well, it strikes me as a pretty poor one. And that's a funny thing, when you come to think of it. We're just babies making up a game, if you're right. But four babies playing a game can make a play-world which licks your real world hollow. That's why I'm going to stand by the play-world. I'm on Aslan's side even if there isn't any Aslan to lead it. I'm going to live as like a Narnian as I can even if there isn't any Narnia."
I've often thought that when thinking about believing in God. A popular lie is that there isn't a God, but really the peace that's found believing in a supreme being as awesome and powerful as my God is totally worth it.
If there is one thing you read this summer, it should be The Chronicles of Narnia.
If you were going to be stranded on an island and could take only one book, which would it be? (don't be all Suzzy Spiritual and say the Bible either)
Mine...The Chronicles of Narnia (I have a version where all the books are combined into one so I'm not cheating when I say that).
Why? Aside from the brilliant writing and plot lines of Mr. Lewis, the spiritual truths laced throughout the book would have both my mind and my spirit fed for years.
One such example is found in the second to the last book of the chronicles, "The Silver Chair" and while it isn't my favorite (no children's book can hold even the smallest of candles to "The Voyage of the Dawn Treader") it's not without Lewis' brilliant wit.
This book is all about two children and a Marsh-Wiggle (the defining of which would generate a ramble so I'll spare you, just picture a scare-crow) and their journey to restore the rightful king to the Narnian throne.
There is one particular scene when they have broken a horrid spell and are addressing the witch who is attempting to cast another spell over them by convincing them that all they know to be true was in fact a dream.
What breaks them out of this spell is a clever speech from the Marsh-Wiggle, that as I've already hinted at, would squelch even the most boisterous of atheists....
Oh and the Aslan they speak of is the figure that represents God-just keep that in mind...
"Suppose we have only dreamed, or made up, all those things-trees and grass and sun and moon and stars and Aslan himself. Suppose we have. Then all I can say is that, in that case, the made-up things seem a good deal more important than the real ones. Suppose this black pit of a kingdom of yours is the only world. Well, it strikes me as a pretty poor one. And that's a funny thing, when you come to think of it. We're just babies making up a game, if you're right. But four babies playing a game can make a play-world which licks your real world hollow. That's why I'm going to stand by the play-world. I'm on Aslan's side even if there isn't any Aslan to lead it. I'm going to live as like a Narnian as I can even if there isn't any Narnia."
I've often thought that when thinking about believing in God. A popular lie is that there isn't a God, but really the peace that's found believing in a supreme being as awesome and powerful as my God is totally worth it.
If there is one thing you read this summer, it should be The Chronicles of Narnia.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Cup full o' Giggles
I could stand in the card isle reading only Fresh Ink cards by Halmark all-day-long.
I don't hold back when I'm standing in the card isle and their wittiness tickles me, I l.o.l. Which really they should thank me for because laughter is contagious so even if someone is looking over one of those cheesy cards that talk about a naked man and you open it up to see a baby monkey (what?) they might laugh and wait till after they've shelled out 5.75 to realize it was a stupid card.
Fresh Ink card's are not something I buy for everyone I know who has a birthday. They cater to a very distinct brand of humor. One example (and the only one because really you have to see the pictures with the captions) is one that sent me into fits of giggles standing there in Walgreens...
It's a card that is round and looks like a piece of bologna...
"My bologna has a middle name
It's Marie."
Haha can you really put a price tag on something that funny? Fresh Ink did and it's a reasonable 2.50 so please, buy on.
Here's another funny from my google homepage, daily humor thingy...
Cereal Claim
Last week, the FDA scolded General Mills for claiming that Cheerios lowers your cholesterol by 10%.
They're not stopping there - today, under pressure, Captain Crunch admitted he lied about his military record. -Jay Leno
I don't hold back when I'm standing in the card isle and their wittiness tickles me, I l.o.l. Which really they should thank me for because laughter is contagious so even if someone is looking over one of those cheesy cards that talk about a naked man and you open it up to see a baby monkey (what?) they might laugh and wait till after they've shelled out 5.75 to realize it was a stupid card.
Fresh Ink card's are not something I buy for everyone I know who has a birthday. They cater to a very distinct brand of humor. One example (and the only one because really you have to see the pictures with the captions) is one that sent me into fits of giggles standing there in Walgreens...
It's a card that is round and looks like a piece of bologna...
"My bologna has a middle name
It's Marie."
Haha can you really put a price tag on something that funny? Fresh Ink did and it's a reasonable 2.50 so please, buy on.
Here's another funny from my google homepage, daily humor thingy...
Cereal Claim
Last week, the FDA scolded General Mills for claiming that Cheerios lowers your cholesterol by 10%.
They're not stopping there - today, under pressure, Captain Crunch admitted he lied about his military record. -Jay Leno
Saturday, May 16, 2009
My Fashion Statement.
If there is one thing I want people to associate with the name Elizabeth it's the message behind this Villanelle.
And that's all I have to say about that.
Enjoy.
A Flatter of Fact:
Wear a purple hat if it flatters your nose,
Caring not for the fashions of the day
Wear green socks if they flatter your toes.
Put your hair in a bun the shape of a rose
Or part it in two, to create a bouquet
Wear a purple hat if it flatters your nose.
If spring calls for hem lines that tend to expose,
And they’re sported by women regardless of weight
Wear green socks if they flatter your toes.
When in Paris they walk wearing low pantyhose
With their hair standing straight from hair spray
Wear a purple hat if it flatters your nose.
If the style is colors of blue and bog rose,
Paired with yellow, and red and ash gray
Wear green socks if they flatter your toes.
Remember to dress so that others suppose
You’d rather not to look too cliché.
Wear a purple hat if it flatters your nose
Wear green socks if they flatter your toes.
And that's all I have to say about that.
Enjoy.
A Flatter of Fact:
Wear a purple hat if it flatters your nose,
Caring not for the fashions of the day
Wear green socks if they flatter your toes.
Put your hair in a bun the shape of a rose
Or part it in two, to create a bouquet
Wear a purple hat if it flatters your nose.
If spring calls for hem lines that tend to expose,
And they’re sported by women regardless of weight
Wear green socks if they flatter your toes.
When in Paris they walk wearing low pantyhose
With their hair standing straight from hair spray
Wear a purple hat if it flatters your nose.
If the style is colors of blue and bog rose,
Paired with yellow, and red and ash gray
Wear green socks if they flatter your toes.
Remember to dress so that others suppose
You’d rather not to look too cliché.
Wear a purple hat if it flatters your nose
Wear green socks if they flatter your toes.
Friday, May 15, 2009
A Sonnet for your bonnet...haha!
Two rhyming poems is all we had to produce in the way of "real" poetry and this is one of mine. It's actually a sonnet and after writing this one I truly believe Shakespeare would look at it and want to put his name to it--My pride runs that deep.
Enjoy.
Him
So often do the words around me pass
Without so much as stopping to survive.
The prepositions, fragile, fall like glass
While nouns of value find a way to thrive.
Before, a pronoun was of little worth
Uncaring was the use from day to day
For “her” and “him” it was of common birth
The leader of the least of all to say.
Until he came and gave his hand to guide
Upon my back with confidence to spare,
And spoke about the beauty in my eyes
A turn of friendship into love affair.
So now with every use of him and he
The value of a pronoun grows, exponentially.
Enjoy.
Him
So often do the words around me pass
Without so much as stopping to survive.
The prepositions, fragile, fall like glass
While nouns of value find a way to thrive.
Before, a pronoun was of little worth
Uncaring was the use from day to day
For “her” and “him” it was of common birth
The leader of the least of all to say.
Until he came and gave his hand to guide
Upon my back with confidence to spare,
And spoke about the beauty in my eyes
A turn of friendship into love affair.
So now with every use of him and he
The value of a pronoun grows, exponentially.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
hmmm...yep, yep, yep
I realize now I should have posted this last week.
That would have been cool, but no I'm posting it now.
It's yet another installment from my poetry portfolio (two more gems are yet to be enjoyed after this one).
Anyway this poem is one I was the least satisfied with out of all that I wrote for class. I realized this when writing it (which is the worst time especially since it was literally the last thing I ever had to do as a college student).
But I also realize that in being the person that I am I impose requirements upon myself that are sometimes incapable of being fulfilled by even the savviest of writers.
SO I clicked the print button and let it go.
Enjoy.
Last College Paper
I’d like to make this poem
A perfect reflection of
Everything I learned
In school. A showcase
Of quotes by Aristotle, a math
Concept or two. But I’ve found
That when you sit down
And try to make a pile
Of everything you know, you
Realize one thing about
What you’ve learned:
It will all eek out
At just the right moment. At least,
That’s what I tell myself.
That would have been cool, but no I'm posting it now.
It's yet another installment from my poetry portfolio (two more gems are yet to be enjoyed after this one).
Anyway this poem is one I was the least satisfied with out of all that I wrote for class. I realized this when writing it (which is the worst time especially since it was literally the last thing I ever had to do as a college student).
But I also realize that in being the person that I am I impose requirements upon myself that are sometimes incapable of being fulfilled by even the savviest of writers.
SO I clicked the print button and let it go.
Enjoy.
Last College Paper
I’d like to make this poem
A perfect reflection of
Everything I learned
In school. A showcase
Of quotes by Aristotle, a math
Concept or two. But I’ve found
That when you sit down
And try to make a pile
Of everything you know, you
Realize one thing about
What you’ve learned:
It will all eek out
At just the right moment. At least,
That’s what I tell myself.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
POW! BAM!
Punching Emily Post in the face is still on my list of things to do.
It's only by God's grace that I found the woman was married because had she not been I would have seriously become angry. And anger at a dead person is wildly unsatisfying.
The expectations established by Mrs. Post are what curl my toes in frustration, and I'm not the only one of this opinion. The 21st century newlywed should be given a break. But really this speech should be given to a different room of people who would raise their fists and stomp their feet along with me. You, I'm sure, have already rolled your eyes and thought "what's so hard about thank you cards?"
So I will stop.
My purpose in all of this was to preface a poem I wrote for my final portfolio in class which is meant to be more comical/apologetic then it is angry.
Enjoy.
To: Emily Post
From: A Newlywed
When I see people
I see kitchen utensils
I never thanked them for,
A white serving platter
They sent me in the mail
That has been used to carry
Biscuits and brownies.
Just the other day I passed
A woman who gave me
Two magnificent square glass
Vases and instead of saying hello
I wanted to stop her and say
Three months
Just isn’t enough.
It's only by God's grace that I found the woman was married because had she not been I would have seriously become angry. And anger at a dead person is wildly unsatisfying.
The expectations established by Mrs. Post are what curl my toes in frustration, and I'm not the only one of this opinion. The 21st century newlywed should be given a break. But really this speech should be given to a different room of people who would raise their fists and stomp their feet along with me. You, I'm sure, have already rolled your eyes and thought "what's so hard about thank you cards?"
So I will stop.
My purpose in all of this was to preface a poem I wrote for my final portfolio in class which is meant to be more comical/apologetic then it is angry.
Enjoy.
To: Emily Post
From: A Newlywed
When I see people
I see kitchen utensils
I never thanked them for,
A white serving platter
They sent me in the mail
That has been used to carry
Biscuits and brownies.
Just the other day I passed
A woman who gave me
Two magnificent square glass
Vases and instead of saying hello
I wanted to stop her and say
Three months
Just isn’t enough.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
And so it begins...but not without a look back
The creators of the books where you choose your own ending really had a good idea. Not only do they make their book uniquely fresh each read, but they allow the reader to make their own choices, then see an immediate consequence to that choice.
A "choose your own adventure" in real life would be fantastic, no?
The opportunity to take a look at where each of our choices lead would put us in an entirely different place (and of course bump out the "imperfect" world thing we've got going on).
I started thinking about this in reference to my years in college. Choosing to start off as a music major seemed like a good idea at the time, however that particular adventure lead me to realize it wasn't for me, but not after having used up whole semesters that would eventually put me back years in my goal.
Had I chosen English right off the bat I could have graduated years earlier...had I graduated years earlier I would have settled in a job more than likely and had I been established in a job I would have said a big fat NO to the move from Florida...had I said no to moving I would not have met Dayton and well, you do the math...
One choice affected my whole adventure.
While this thought is undoubtedly scary for some (fear of the unknown, fear of making the wrong decision) I find it invigorating.
Having our life spread before us in a small paper back form where the ending is found on page 98 would be seemingly uber-beneficial, but really it would end up more like fat-less bacon--limp and tasteless (haha I'm going to create a good one of those simile's day dangit!).
At the risk of sounding like a Steven Curtis Chapman song...enjoy the adventure. We've got the map maker at our disposal and if we strive to listen for His voice it He'll make the whole thing really worth while.
A "choose your own adventure" in real life would be fantastic, no?
The opportunity to take a look at where each of our choices lead would put us in an entirely different place (and of course bump out the "imperfect" world thing we've got going on).
I started thinking about this in reference to my years in college. Choosing to start off as a music major seemed like a good idea at the time, however that particular adventure lead me to realize it wasn't for me, but not after having used up whole semesters that would eventually put me back years in my goal.
Had I chosen English right off the bat I could have graduated years earlier...had I graduated years earlier I would have settled in a job more than likely and had I been established in a job I would have said a big fat NO to the move from Florida...had I said no to moving I would not have met Dayton and well, you do the math...
One choice affected my whole adventure.
While this thought is undoubtedly scary for some (fear of the unknown, fear of making the wrong decision) I find it invigorating.
Having our life spread before us in a small paper back form where the ending is found on page 98 would be seemingly uber-beneficial, but really it would end up more like fat-less bacon--limp and tasteless (haha I'm going to create a good one of those simile's day dangit!).
At the risk of sounding like a Steven Curtis Chapman song...enjoy the adventure. We've got the map maker at our disposal and if we strive to listen for His voice it He'll make the whole thing really worth while.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
ONE DAY AWAY!!
haha i graduate tomorrow!!!!!
and it's such a liberating feeling.
Good. God. it's been a long time
and while i will write another post about my choices
and what has lead me to such an extended collegiate career,
i want to take this moment to say...
I'm DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(oh and it's no where near sunken in yet)
and it's such a liberating feeling.
Good. God. it's been a long time
and while i will write another post about my choices
and what has lead me to such an extended collegiate career,
i want to take this moment to say...
I'm DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(oh and it's no where near sunken in yet)
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