Punching Emily Post in the face is still on my list of things to do.
It's only by God's grace that I found the woman was married because had she not been I would have seriously become angry. And anger at a dead person is wildly unsatisfying.
The expectations established by Mrs. Post are what curl my toes in frustration, and I'm not the only one of this opinion. The 21st century newlywed should be given a break. But really this speech should be given to a different room of people who would raise their fists and stomp their feet along with me. You, I'm sure, have already rolled your eyes and thought "what's so hard about thank you cards?"
So I will stop.
My purpose in all of this was to preface a poem I wrote for my final portfolio in class which is meant to be more comical/apologetic then it is angry.
Enjoy.
To: Emily Post
From: A Newlywed
When I see people
I see kitchen utensils
I never thanked them for,
A white serving platter
They sent me in the mail
That has been used to carry
Biscuits and brownies.
Just the other day I passed
A woman who gave me
Two magnificent square glass
Vases and instead of saying hello
I wanted to stop her and say
Three months
Just isn’t enough.
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